Monday, September 24, 2007

Inday Anthology

Pati nga naman jokes nag i evolve din noh. Dati si Inday dumbwhore ngayon smartass na! Hindi yan sunud sunod. Everytime na may magtext sa akin ng Inday jokes dito ko iipunin. :)

I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
----sagot yan ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo.


Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had.
----sabi ni Inday sa amo niya nung humngi siya ng day off.


Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occured wreaking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)


Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunam gunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin.


"There's still a romantic element in knowing that I love someone but I'm choosing to do the right thing by staying silent..."
----sagot ni Inday sa sarili dahil inlab na siya kay Sir... =)


"Be shame of your speaking. Did you think that your English grammary are corrected by? Its better to keep your mouth shock! Connect me if I'm wrong!"


P500=Globeplan subscription
P1800=Glutathione tablet
P600=Olay Total Effects
P1500=Crocs Flipflops
P2000=For Mama

----bina budget ni Inday ang sweldo niya :)


Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday and dictionary para may pangtapat siya kay Inday.

Amo: So, Inday tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion?

Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu cas es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable.Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea.

Amo: (Nastroke)!


Magmamani: ah mani mani mani malutong mani kayo jan oh! limampiso lang mani malutong mani kayo jan oh!

Inday: Mr. Peanut, are those nuts cropped from a high class soil fertilized through an advanced agricultural method to produce a rich tasted appetizer which you, yes you, Mr. Peanut fried it in a premium grade 0% fat canola oil with a low salt solution to consider those low cholesterol diet practitioner like me?

Magmamani: P*kyu!:D


Amo: day! Bumili ka nga ng mga isda! O nga pala inglesera ka na ngayon... Would you please buy many fishes for our this week's meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes" although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aformentioned gilled crreatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? fillet or not?


...One day, Katrina Halili went to FHM Magazine to check if she's still the sexiest woman in the world... Then she walked out angry and shouting...

"Who the hell is Inday?!?!"


Dear Mother,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe.Oh, such un-erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenous employ!!!

Dear Inday,
Walang hiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

1 comment:

roanne said...

hahahahaha!!! natatawa ako.. nakakabasa lang ako ng mga inday jokes e dun sa "textmates" ni kuya kukote! hehehe!

aliw si inday aba!